


Origins

by cyb



Series: One-Two- Shots [1]
Category: JackSepticEye - Video Blogging RPF, Markiplier - Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, I wrote this in literally like 15 minutes give me a break, Karma's a bitch, Mark's a bitch and Jack is green, Other, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6235579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyb/pseuds/cyb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humans are assholes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Origins

**Author's Note:**

> it's 1:10. I should be working on Heartbeat. I wrote this in like three songs. 
> 
> This is a work of fiction. I am not related to Mark, Jack, Cry or Danny in any form. This is a fanwork.

"They're so fucking careless!" Jack shouted. Mark glanced over at him. 

"Humans?" Mark asked, looking down again at his book.

"'Wow, we're so intelligent, we're so cool and graceful!' No! You're fucking not! I've had better conversations with snails and fucking black dragonfish! Fuck if I can even pronounce where they call themselves! Fuck! Fucking humans! They're fucking idiots!" Jack huffed. 

"I met a dude today," Mark replied, gesturing for Jack to sit next to him. He did, eyes shining as he waited for Mark to continue. 

Hearing Mark's stories were what made everything worthwhile. Jack got the shitty end of things; he heard vaquitas crying about it being the end of their time, and he couldn't reassure them that it would be fine, that extinction was nothing and they'd come back in a couple hundred thousand years as something new. "You met someone?" Jack repeated. 

"It's only one human, he's been on my list for a while, and I figured out what to do to him," Mark continued and Jack listened with open ears. "Real dick. Like, fuckin, Wodan or some goddamn kumiho- actually, no, not as bad as a kumiho. Temper of Wodan. He makes a whipping noise when someone mentions dating someone; says that you have no independence when you're with someone. Y'know, trivial human shit, and he always goes and fucks girls at parties and leaves them with hollow promises of love. Real class A asshole, human terms. 

"So, he's gonna be at a party one night, and he knocks up a girl. Her parents are invested in morals and God, and they're gonna make him have to marry her or get sued a fuck ton." Mark waited for the usual realization of irony to settle into Jack's eyes and hear that laughter, but nothing came. "He said being in a relationship equaled no independence, and he's being forced to marry someone." 

Jack grinned. "Smart." 

"Then tomorrow I've gotta kill a couple dudes, they rob and murder, but mostly they called me a bitch. If I text you their names, can you make them come back as the worst thing?" Mark asked. 

"We'd probably have to ask Danny," Jack said. "See if we can change anything." 

"And Cry," Mark added as an afterthought. 

Jack looked up at Mark and leaned against him. Mark started stroking the other's hair and they sat in silence, looking out into a setting sun. "Damn, I'm old," Mark finally muttered. 

"How old's this solar system?" Jack asked. 

"We've been around since before the start of the Milky Way, so we're over 13 billion, I think," Mark replied. "This one's about five billion or some shit." 

"Damn." 

"Yeah. I miss the early humans." 

"Homo-whatevers?" 

"Yeah. They were cool." 

"This era has good music." 

"It's okay. I don't really listen to music." 

"Man, you're missing something. There's a human named Savant. Y'know, the disorder? He's cool. Cry likes him." 

"I thought Cry was busy killing people. There's an awful lot of beings to take care of." 

"Same with you. He only has humans, remember? But a murderer is a murderer either way, Karma." 

"Oh, but you let us kill them, Mother Nature." 

"At least I don't get called a bitch." 

"Fuck off, dickhead." 

"I'm a graceful woman, fuck you Mark." 

"Yeah, and I'm the creator of the term 'petty revenge.' I think petty revenge is cooler than trees." 

"Way to sound up your own ass." 

"Very aware, darling."

And so the duo sat, looking out at the now-stars. Jack was safe and Mark was warm; maybe, for a day, they could pretend that their jobs weren't going to shit, that they weren't called some higher beings, and that humans weren't such assholes. The next day, Mark would come in and complain about a fish that tricked a shark into murder, and Jack would reply with, "Oh, you don't even know." 

For now, they were safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Jack = Mother Nature (or Green Man, depending on what you prefer)  
> Mark = Karma  
> (Cry = Death)  
> (Dan = Fate)  
> I sorta just chose these characters based on what I thought they would fit as??? like Jack lives in fucking Ireland so he'd be MN, Mark could totally commit murder, Cry probably has committed murder, and Danny's thing with the pills in France  
> (Heartbeat will be up soon, I just need to add a tiny bit more)  
> hmu if you want me to finish this or turn it into a series or something?


End file.
